Dude Rates Movies

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Unbreakable
10
M. Night Shyamalan (2000)
Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Robin Wright
Thursday 22 January 2015 AD

No comment

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La Famille Bélier
7
La famille Bélier
Eric Lartigau (2014)
Karin Viard, François Damiens, Eric Elmosnino
Saturday 3 January 2015 AD

No comment

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Serial (Bad) Weddings
4
Qu'est-ce qu'on a fait au Bon Dieu?
Philippe de Chauveron (2014)
Christian Clavier, Chantal Lauby, Ary Abittan
Sunday 28 December 2014 AD

No comment

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Pacific Rim
4
Guillermo del Toro (2013)
Idris Elba, Charlie Hunnam, Rinko Kikuchi
Monday 22 December 2014 AD

At the beginning of the movie, you have a montage that explains why the big robots were built, and why it must be piloted by a team of two. The explanation for the latter is that the machine’s power puts too big of a physical toll on a single pilot. The related exhibit is a piece of black-and-white, archive-like video, where a pilot bleeds from his nose after trying to pilot alone. This made me very mad. This is supposed to happen in the future. Why would the archives of the future be in black and white? The film deliberately decided to make it in black-and-white to gives a “archive-like” feeling to the spectator, without it making any sense since it’s supposed to be an archive in the future. This is the biggest bullshit ever.

Now, see, most of the time in the movie, the big robots defeat the bad creatures by launching missiles at them (with some sort of missile launchers above their shoulder). So why would you build giant robots when all you need are missiles that can be launched from planes or ground vehicles or boats? Well, because fuck you. This movie is the high-point of non-functional, nonsensical, stylish art. Everything about it is about resorting to clichés actions and visuals. Here is a black-and-white archive for no reason. Here are robots for no reason. It’s like children playing with toys and imitating whatever pieces of nebulous stylish thing they see on the TV without it making any sense at all. The robots are transported out of their hangar on crawlers like the crawler for the Saturn V rocket, that the director probably though was cool in Apollo 13. The point of exoskeletons is that they can fucking walk, why would you crawl them. God dammit.

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Nebraska
7
Alexander Payne (2013)
Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb
Saturday 20 December 2014 AD

No comment

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Breaking News
4
Dai si gin
Johnnie To (2004)
Richie Jen, Kelly Chen, Nick Cheung
Sunday 30 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Four Rooms
8
Allison Anders, Alexandre Rockwell, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino (1995)
Tim Roth, Antonio Banderas, Sammi Davis
Sunday 30 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Great Expectations
6
Alfonso Cuarón (1998)
Ethan Hawke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hank Azaria
Sunday 30 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Rope
8
Alfred Hitchcock (1948)
James Stewart, John Dall, Farley Granger
Sunday 30 November 2014 AD

No comment

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The Player
7
Robert Altman (1992)
Tim Robbins, Greta Scacchi, Fred Ward
Sunday 30 November 2014 AD

No comment

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The Protector
6
Tom yum goong
Prachya Pinkaew (2005)
Tony Jaa, Nathan Jones, Xing Jin
Sunday 30 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Memento
8
Christopher Nolan (2000)
Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano
Sunday 23 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Catch Me If You Can
9
Steven Spielberg (2002)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken
Thursday 20 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Little Miss Sunshine
9
Jonathan Dayton, Valerie Faris (2006)
Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Greg Kinnear
Thursday 20 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Man on Wire
9
James Marsh (2008)
Philippe Petit, Jean François Heckel, Jean-Louis Blondeau
Thursday 20 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Match Point
9
Woody Allen (2005)
Scarlett Johansson, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Emily Mortimer
Thursday 20 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Road to Perdition
9
Sam Mendes (2002)
Tom Hanks, Tyler Hoechlin, Rob Maxey
Thursday 20 November 2014 AD

No comment

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How to Train Your Dragon 2
7
Dean DeBlois (2014)
Jay Baruchel, Cate Blanchett, Gerard Butler
Wednesday 12 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Interstellar
7
Christopher Nolan (2014)
Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain
Wednesday 12 November 2014 AD

Christopher Nolan tries to package decades of science-fiction themes into a single movie. The lossy compression is quite noticeable.

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Her
7
Spike Jonze (2013)
Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Scarlett Johansson
Saturday 1 November 2014 AD

No comment

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My Night at Maud's
7
Ma nuit chez Maud
Éric Rohmer (1969)
Jean-Louis Trintignant, Françoise Fabian, Marie-Christine Barrault
Saturday 1 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Only Lovers Left Alive
6
Jim Jarmusch (2013)
Tilda Swinton, Tom Hiddleston, Mia Wasikowska
Saturday 1 November 2014 AD

No comment

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The Old Gun
8
Le vieux fusil
Robert Enrico (1975)
Philippe Noiret, Romy Schneider, Jean Bouise
Saturday 1 November 2014 AD

No comment

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
7
Adam McKay (2004)
Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Steve Carell
Friday 31 October 2014 AD

No comment

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Apollo 13
10
Ron Howard (1995)
Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton, Kevin Bacon
Friday 31 October 2014 AD

No comment

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The Descent
5
Neil Marshall (2005)
Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid
Friday 31 October 2014 AD

No comment

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Gone Girl
9
David Fincher (2014)
Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Neil Patrick Harris
Saturday 11 October 2014 AD

No comment

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The Fault in Our Stars
6
Josh Boone (2014)
Shailene Woodley, Ansel Elgort, Nat Wolff
Saturday 11 October 2014 AD

No comment

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2 Days in Paris
8
Julie Delpy (2007)
Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg, Daniel Brühl
Saturday 27 September 2014 AD

No comment

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For a Few Dollars More
8
Per qualche dollaro in più
Sergio Leone (1965)
Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Gian Maria Volontè
Thursday 11 September 2014 AD

No comment

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United 93
9
Paul Greengrass (2006)
David Alan Basche, Olivia Thirlby, Liza Colón-Zayas
Wednesday 10 September 2014 AD

No comment

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Blackfish
9
Gabriela Cowperthwaite (2013)
Tilikum, Dave Duffus, Samantha Berg
Saturday 16 August 2014 AD

No comment

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Searching for Sugar Man
9
Malik Bendjelloul (2012)
Rodriguez, Stephen 'Sugar' Segerman, Dennis Coffey
Saturday 16 August 2014 AD

No comment

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Get Him to the Greek
7
Nicholas Stoller (2010)
Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Elisabeth Moss
Tuesday 12 August 2014 AD

No comment

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The Notebook
6
Nick Cassavetes (2004)
Gena Rowlands, James Garner, Rachel McAdams
Monday 11 August 2014 AD

No comment

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The Thing
7
John Carpenter (1982)
Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith David
Sunday 10 August 2014 AD

No comment

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The Raid 2
5
Serbuan maut 2: Berandal
Gareth Evans (2014)
Iko Uwais, Yayan Ruhian, Arifin Putra
Monday 28 July 2014 AD

No comment

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About Time
6
Richard Curtis (2013)
Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams, Bill Nighy
Sunday 27 July 2014 AD

No comment

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Nymphomaniac: Vol. I
6
Lars von Trier (2013)
Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgård, Stacy Martin
Sunday 27 July 2014 AD

No comment

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Life of Pi
8
Ang Lee (2012)
Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, Adil Hussain
Sunday 6 July 2014 AD

No comment

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Paris, je t'aime
7
Olivier Assayas, Frédéric Auburtin, Emmanuel Benbihy, Gurinder Chadha, Sylvain Chomet, Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Isabel Coixet, Wes Craven, Alfonso Cuarón, Gérard Depardieu, Christopher Doyle, Richard LaGravenese, Vincenzo Natali, Alexander Payne, Bruno Podalydès, Walter Salles, Oliver Schmitz, Nobuhiro Suwa, Daniela Thomas, Tom Tykwer, Gus Van Sant (2006)
Juliette Binoche, Leonor Watling, Ludivine Sagnier
Tuesday 24 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Secretary
4
Steven Shainberg (2002)
James Spader, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jeremy Davies
Tuesday 24 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Sólo con Tu Pareja
8
Sólo con tu pareja
Alfonso Cuarón (1991)
Daniel Giménez Cacho, Claudia Ramírez, Luis de Icaza
Sunday 22 June 2014 AD

No comment

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City Lights
8
Charles Chaplin (1931)
Charles Chaplin, Virginia Cherrill, Florence Lee
Monday 16 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Drive
9
Nicolas Winding Refn (2011)
Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston
Monday 16 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Modern Times
8
Charles Chaplin (1936)
Charles Chaplin, Paulette Goddard, Henry Bergman
Monday 16 June 2014 AD

No comment

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The Birds
8
Alfred Hitchcock (1963)
Rod Taylor, Tippi Hedren, Jessica Tandy
Monday 16 June 2014 AD

No comment

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The Insider
10
Michael Mann (1999)
Russell Crowe, Al Pacino, Christopher Plummer
Monday 16 June 2014 AD

No comment

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What Lies Beneath
7
Robert Zemeckis (2000)
Harrison Ford, Michelle Pfeiffer, Katharine Towne
Monday 16 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Shotgun Stories
9
Jeff Nichols (2007)
Michael Shannon, Douglas Ligon, Barlow Jacobs
Sunday 15 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Pain & Gain
8
Michael Bay (2013)
Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie
Saturday 14 June 2014 AD

First Michael Bay’s escape of his Transformers franchise jail. The mix of comedy / action / crime genres is clearly the most suited for his style.

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War of the Worlds
9
Steven Spielberg (2005)
Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins
Friday 13 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Elysium
6
Neill Blomkamp (2013)
Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley
Monday 9 June 2014 AD

No comment

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The Wizard of Oz
2
Victor Fleming (1939)
Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger
Monday 9 June 2014 AD

After 30 minutes I started watching it in x4 speed so that I could finish it under one hour. This catalog of magic mumbo jumbo trash wasn’t worth any more of my time.

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The Chumscrubber
7
Arie Posin (2005)
Jamie Bell, Allison Janney, Rory Culkin
Wednesday 4 June 2014 AD

No comment

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A Bug's Life
8
John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton (1998)
Kevin Spacey, Dave Foley, Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Monday 2 June 2014 AD

Joke time: spiders are the only type of web developers that like to find bugs. Tssssh bam.

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Brave
8
Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell (2012)
Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson
Monday 2 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Monsters University
8
Dan Scanlon (2013)
Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi
Monday 2 June 2014 AD

This is funny and well-crafted overall, but it depends too much on its predecessor to really be a remarkable, stand-alone movie.

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Napoleon Dynamite
8
Jared Hess (2004)
Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Rear Window
9
Alfred Hitchcock (1954)
James Stewart, Grace Kelly, Wendell Corey
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

I admire James Stewart’s character and the stoicism and seriousness with which he ponders the implications of marriage when the woman in question is played by Grace Kelly.

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The Lunchbox
8
Dabba
Ritesh Batra (2013)
Irrfan Khan, Nimrat Kaur, Nawazuddin Siddiqui
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

No comment

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What Women Want
7
Nancy Meyers (2000)
Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt, Marisa Tomei
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Battleship
9
Peter Berg (2012)
Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson
Thursday 29 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Monsieur Lazhar
8
Philippe Falardeau (2011)
Mohamed Fellag, Sophie Nélisse, Émilien Néron
Thursday 29 May 2014 AD

No comment

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The Class
7
Entre les murs
Laurent Cantet (2008)
François Bégaudeau, Agame Malembo-Emene, Angélica Sancio
Thursday 29 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Sinister
7
Scott Derrickson (2012)
Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, James Ransone
Saturday 24 May 2014 AD

No comment

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We Need to Talk About Kevin
6
Lynne Ramsay (2011)
Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, Ezra Miller
Wednesday 21 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Insidious
1
James Wan (2010)
Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins
Sunday 18 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Side Effects
8
Steven Soderbergh (2013)
Rooney Mara, Channing Tatum, Jude Law
Saturday 17 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Romancing the Stone
7
Robert Zemeckis (1984)
Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito
Thursday 8 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Captain America: The First Avenger
6
Joe Johnston (2011)
Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Samuel L. Jackson
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Close Encounters of the Third Kind
8
Steven Spielberg (1977)
Richard Dreyfuss, François Truffaut, Teri Garr
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Noah
8
Darren Aronofsky (2014)
Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Rush
8
Ron Howard (2013)
Daniel Brühl, Chris Hemsworth, Olivia Wilde
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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The Host
1
Andrew Niccol (2013)
Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

This film has been written for the screen and directed by Andrew Niccol (Gattaca, The Truman Show, Lord of War). I can’t believe this. What the actual fuck has happened. Had someone checked on him?

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Jarhead
8
Sam Mendes (2005)
Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, Lucas Black
Wednesday 2 April 2014 AD

No comment

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Revolutionary Road
8
Sam Mendes (2008)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Christopher Fitzgerald
Sunday 30 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower
4
Stephen Chbosky (2012)
Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller
Thursday 20 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Basic Instinct
8
Paul Verhoeven (1992)
Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, George Dzundza
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Easy A
7
Will Gluck (2010)
Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes, Penn Badgley
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
7
Alfonso Cuarón (2004)
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Juno
7
Jason Reitman (2007)
Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Life Is Beautiful
9
La vita è bella
Roberto Benigni (1997)
Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Braschi, Giorgio Cantarini
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Lucky Number Slevin
5
Paul McGuigan (2006)
Josh Hartnett, Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
7
Gore Verbinski (2003)
Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Shooter
7
Antoine Fuqua (2007)
Mark Wahlberg, Michael Peña, Rhona Mitra
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Supercondriaque
7
Dany Boon (2014)
Dany Boon, Kad Merad, Alice Pol
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Ides of March
7
George Clooney (2011)
Paul Giamatti, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Quiet Man
3
John Ford (1952)
John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara, Barry Fitzgerald
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Raid: Redemption
6
Serbuan maut
Gareth Evans (2011)
Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Ray Sahetapy
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Unknown
5
Jaume Collet-Serra (2011)
Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Love Like Poison
7
Un poison violent
Katell Quillévéré (2010)
Clara Augarde, Lio, Michel Galabru
Thursday 6 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Superman
6
Richard Donner (1978)
Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman
Thursday 6 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Welcome to the Sticks
6
Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis
Dany Boon (2008)
Kad Merad, Dany Boon, Zoé Félix
Thursday 6 March 2014 AD

No comment

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12 Years a Slave
8
Steve McQueen (2013)
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Kenneth Williams, Michael Fassbender
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

The next movie from Steve McQueen will be titled Widows. This one therefore marks an exception on his one-word-titled filmography, a nice touch from the director to inform us not to worry about this casual history educative package and that it was only for the Oscar hold-up. It’s actually very decent.

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Blue Jasmine
6
Woody Allen (2013)
Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Peter Sarsgaard
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Dallas Buyers Club
7
Jean-Marc Vallée (2013)
Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Frozen
8
Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee (2013)
Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

This film should be punished for having spread its garbage song like a virus on the entire face of the Earth, but it’s not actually bad so I can’t use this petty argument.

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Mud
8
Jeff Nichols (2012)
Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland
Sunday 16 February 2014 AD

No comment

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Wadjda
7
Haifaa Al-Mansour (2012)
Waad Mohammed, Reem Abdullah, Abdullrahman Al Gohani
Sunday 16 February 2014 AD

No comment