Dude Rates Movies

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War of the Worlds
A
Steven Spielberg (2005)
Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Tim Robbins
Friday 13 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Elysium
D
Neill Blomkamp (2013)
Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley
Monday 9 June 2014 AD

No comment

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The Wizard of Oz
F
Victor Fleming (1939)
Judy Garland, Frank Morgan, Ray Bolger
Monday 9 June 2014 AD

After 30 minutes I started watching it in x4 speed so that I could finish it under one hour. This catalog of magic mumbo jumbo trash wasn’t worth any more of my time.

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The Chumscrubber
C
Arie Posin (2005)
Jamie Bell, Allison Janney, Rory Culkin
Wednesday 4 June 2014 AD

No comment

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Monsters University
B
Dan Scanlon (2013)
Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi
Monday 2 June 2014 AD

This is funny and well-crafted overall, but it depends too much on its predecessor to really be a remarkable, stand-alone movie.

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Brave
B
Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman, Steve Purcell (2012)
Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson
Monday 2 June 2014 AD

No comment

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A Bug's Life
B
John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton (1998)
Kevin Spacey, Dave Foley, Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Monday 2 June 2014 AD

Joke time: spiders are the only type of web developers that like to find bugs. Tssssh bam.

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The Lunchbox
B
Dabba
Ritesh Batra (2013)
Irrfan Khan, Nimrat Kaur, Nawazuddin Siddiqui
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Napoleon Dynamite
B
Jared Hess (2004)
Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

No comment

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What Women Want
C
Nancy Meyers (2000)
Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt, Marisa Tomei
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Rear Window
A
Alfred Hitchcock (1954)
James Stewart, Grace Kelly, Wendell Corey
Friday 30 May 2014 AD

I admire James Stewart’s character and the stoicism and seriousness with which he ponders the implications of marriage when the woman in question is played by Grace Kelly.

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Monsieur Lazhar
B
Philippe Falardeau (2011)
Mohamed Fellag, Sophie Nélisse, Émilien Néron
Thursday 29 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Battleship
A
Peter Berg (2012)
Alexander Skarsgård, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson
Thursday 29 May 2014 AD

No comment

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The Class
C
Entre les murs
Laurent Cantet (2008)
François Bégaudeau, Agame Malembo-Emene, Angélica Sancio
Thursday 29 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Sinister
C
Scott Derrickson (2012)
Ethan Hawke, Juliet Rylance, James Ransone
Saturday 24 May 2014 AD

No comment

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We Need to Talk About Kevin
D
Lynne Ramsay (2011)
Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, Ezra Miller
Wednesday 21 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Insidious
F
James Wan (2010)
Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpkins
Sunday 18 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Side Effects
B
Steven Soderbergh (2013)
Rooney Mara, Channing Tatum, Jude Law
Saturday 17 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Romancing the Stone
C
Robert Zemeckis (1984)
Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito
Thursday 8 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Rush
B
Ron Howard (2013)
Daniel Brühl, Chris Hemsworth, Olivia Wilde
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Noah
B
Darren Aronofsky (2014)
Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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The Host
F
Andrew Niccol (2013)
Saoirse Ronan, Max Irons, Jake Abel
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

This film has been written for the screen and directed by Andrew Niccol (Gattaca, The Truman Show, Lord of War). I can’t believe this. What the actual fuck has happened. Had someone checked on him?

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Captain America: The First Avenger
D
Joe Johnston (2011)
Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Samuel L. Jackson
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Close Encounters of the Third Kind
B
Steven Spielberg (1977)
Richard Dreyfuss, François Truffaut, Teri Garr
Wednesday 7 May 2014 AD

No comment

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Jarhead
B
Sam Mendes (2005)
Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, Lucas Black
Wednesday 2 April 2014 AD

No comment

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Revolutionary Road
B
Sam Mendes (2008)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Christopher Fitzgerald
Sunday 30 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower
E
Stephen Chbosky (2012)
Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller
Thursday 20 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Supercondriaque
C
Dany Boon (2014)
Dany Boon, Kad Merad, Alice Pol
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Raid: Redemption
D
Serbuan maut
Gareth Evans (2011)
Iko Uwais, Ananda George, Ray Sahetapy
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Unknown
D
Jaume Collet-Serra (2011)
Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Easy A
C
Will Gluck (2010)
Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes, Penn Badgley
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Ides of March
C
George Clooney (2011)
Paul Giamatti, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Shooter
C
Antoine Fuqua (2007)
Mark Wahlberg, Michael Peña, Rhona Mitra
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Juno
C
Jason Reitman (2007)
Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Jennifer Garner
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Lucky Number Slevin
D
Paul McGuigan (2006)
Josh Hartnett, Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
C
Gore Verbinski (2003)
Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
C
Alfonso Cuarón (2004)
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Life Is Beautiful
A
La vita è bella
Roberto Benigni (1997)
Roberto Benigni, Nicoletta Braschi, Giorgio Cantarini
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Basic Instinct
B
Paul Verhoeven (1992)
Michael Douglas, Sharon Stone, George Dzundza
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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The Quiet Man
F
John Ford (1952)
John Wayne, Maureen O'Hara, Barry Fitzgerald
Wednesday 19 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Love Like Poison
C
Un poison violent
Katell Quillévéré (2010)
Clara Augarde, Lio, Michel Galabru
Thursday 6 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Welcome to the Sticks
D
Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis
Dany Boon (2008)
Kad Merad, Dany Boon, Zoé Félix
Thursday 6 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Superman
D
Richard Donner (1978)
Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman
Thursday 6 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Blue Jasmine
D
Woody Allen (2013)
Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Peter Sarsgaard
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Frozen
B
Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee (2013)
Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

This film should be punished for having spread its garbage song like a virus on the entire face of the Earth, but it’s not actually bad so I can’t use this petty argument.

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12 Years a Slave
B
Steve McQueen (2013)
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Kenneth Williams, Michael Fassbender
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

The next movie from Steve McQueen will be titled Widows. This one therefore marks an exception on his one-word-titled filmography, a nice touch from the director to inform us not to worry about this casual history educative package and that it was only for the Oscar hold-up. It’s actually very decent.

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Dallas Buyers Club
C
Jean-Marc Vallée (2013)
Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto
Wednesday 5 March 2014 AD

No comment

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Wadjda
C
Haifaa Al-Mansour (2012)
Waad Mohammed, Reem Abdullah, Abdullrahman Al Gohani
Sunday 16 February 2014 AD

No comment

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Mud
B
Jeff Nichols (2012)
Matthew McConaughey, Tye Sheridan, Jacob Lofland
Sunday 16 February 2014 AD

No comment

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The Warriors
D
Walter Hill (1979)
Michael Beck, James Remar, Dorsey Wright
Sunday 19 January 2014 AD

No comment

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Like Father, Like Son
B
Soshite chichi ni naru
Hirokazu Koreeda (2013)
Masaharu Fukuyama, Machiko Ono, Yôko Maki
Saturday 18 January 2014 AD

No comment

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Captain Phillips
A
Paul Greengrass (2013)
Tom Hanks, Barkhad Abdi, Barkhad Abdirahman
Saturday 18 January 2014 AD

No comment

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Gravity
A
Alfonso Cuarón (2013)
Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, Ed Harris
Saturday 11 January 2014 AD

This movie will be criticized for its scientific inaccuracies, because its action is so tangible it doesn’t even play in the same ballpark than any other science-fiction movie. It measures itself not against the laws of plausibility, but directly against those of physics. Even if at times it has difficulties winning this fight, especially when it comes to the first law of Newton near parachutes, it still stands up solidly and settles the deal with a masterful depiction of what spacewalks feel like as well as an intensively suspenseful narration.

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The Wolf of Wall Street
A
Martin Scorsese (2013)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie
Saturday 11 January 2014 AD

No comment

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Comment j'ai détesté les maths
B
Olivier Peyon (2013)
Eitan Grinspun
Tuesday 7 January 2014 AD

No comment

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Spring Breakers
D
Harmony Korine (2012)
Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson
Saturday 4 January 2014 AD

No comment

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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
B
Ben Stiller (2013)
Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Jon Daly
Saturday 4 January 2014 AD

No comment

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Don Jon
F
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (2013)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johansson, Julianne Moore
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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The Bling Ring
C
Sofia Coppola (2013)
Katie Chang, Israel Broussard, Emma Watson
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Bachelorette
D
Leslye Headland (2012)
Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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The Place Beyond the Pines
C
Derek Cianfrance (2012)
Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendes
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Only God Forgives
D
Nicolas Winding Refn (2013)
Ryan Gosling, Kristin Scott Thomas, Vithaya Pansringarm
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Iron Man
B
Jon Favreau (2008)
Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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King Kong
A+
Peter Jackson (2005)
Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Troy
B
Wolfgang Petersen (2004)
Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Lilo & Stitch
C
Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders (2002)
Daveigh Chase, Chris Sanders, Tia Carrere
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Eyes Wide Shut
C
Stanley Kubrick (1999)
Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Todd Field
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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One Deadly Summer
D
L'été meurtrier
Jean Becker (1983)
Isabelle Adjani, Alain Souchon, Suzanne Flon
Monday 30 December 2013 AD

No comment

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The Spectacular Now
A
James Ponsoldt (2013)
Miles Teller, Shailene Woodley, Kyle Chandler
Thursday 26 December 2013 AD

No comment

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Man of Steel
D
Zack Snyder (2013)
Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon
Friday 1 November 2013 AD

No comment

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Martyrs
E
Pascal Laugier (2008)
Morjana Alaoui, Mylène Jampanoï, Catherine Bégin
Wednesday 30 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Halloween
A
John Carpenter (1978)
Donald Pleasence, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tony Moran
Wednesday 30 October 2013 AD

No comment

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A Little Princess
C
Alfonso Cuarón (1995)
Liesel Matthews, Eleanor Bron, Liam Cunningham
Saturday 26 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Rise of the Planet of the Apes
D
Rupert Wyatt (2011)
James Franco, Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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The Tree of Life
A
Terrence Malick (2011)
Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

I love it until I fall asleep around the 90th minute.

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Transformers
B
Michael Bay (2007)
Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

I distinctly remember the day when I went to watch this movie on the theater when I was a teenager. By mixing a spielbergian tale of a teenager meeting alien bots with the alluring presence of Megan Fox, Michael Bay blew 14-years-old me away, and put a wide smile on my face. This movie, which even under the adult eye stays a decent entertainment, holds a special place in my heart. It certainly is one of the greatest cinematographic experience of my life, when adjusted for intellectual inflation.

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
D
Tim Burton (2005)
Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Shrek 2
D
Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, Conrad Vernon (2004)
Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Ice Age
B
Chris Wedge, Carlos Saldanha (2002)
Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Ray Romano
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Meet the Parents
C
Jay Roach (2000)
Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Teri Polo
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Sleepy Hollow
E
Tim Burton (1999)
Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Men in Black II
E
Barry Sonnenfeld (2002)
Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith, Rip Torn
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Fantastic Four
E
Tim Story (2005)
Ioan Gruffudd, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Jackie Brown
C
Quentin Tarantino (1997)
Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Platoon
D
Oliver Stone (1986)
Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
C
Stanley Kubrick (1964)
Peter Sellers, George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Rust and Bone
B
De rouille et d'os
Jacques Audiard (2012)
Marion Cotillard, Matthias Schoenaerts, Armand Verdure
Friday 11 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Django Unchained
D
Quentin Tarantino (2012)
Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio
Friday 11 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Avatar
B
James Cameron (2009)
Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver
Saturday 7 September 2013 AD

“It’s visually outstanding, but the screenplay definitely lacks depth.” People who try to appear smart by reviewing this movie like that are so annoying. They then proceed to say, even more annoyingly so, “Well, it’s mostly a plagia of Pocahontas and Dance with Wolves.” Can’t you enjoy a good classic adventure instead of trying to be a smartass?

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Inception
E
Christopher Nolan (2010)
Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

Christopher Nolan sets the action into dreams so that he has an excuse to show us whatever the fuck he wants. Fans will come up with all sorts of explanations to fix holes in the ambiguous axiomatic so that they can keep convincing themselves that it’s a form of highly intelligent art. I mildly enjoy the show from a perplexed eye.

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence
D
Artificial Intelligence: AI
Steven Spielberg (2001)
Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O'Connor
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Boogie Nights
A
Paul Thomas Anderson (1997)
Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore, Burt Reynolds
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Hook
D
Steven Spielberg (1991)
Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
B
Steve Barron (1990)
Judith Hoag, Elias Koteas, Josh Pais
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Color Purple
D
Steven Spielberg (1985)
Danny Glover, Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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1941
D
Steven Spielberg (1979)
John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Treat Williams
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Jaws
A
Steven Spielberg (1975)
Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Sugarland Express
C
Steven Spielberg (1974)
Goldie Hawn, Ben Johnson, Michael Sacks
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Breathless
D
À bout de souffle
Jean-Luc Godard (1960)
Jean-Paul Belmondo, Jean Seberg, Daniel Boulanger
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

Jean-Paul Belmondo incarne un macho vantard désagréable au possible, un kéké par excellence. Et ça parle et ça parle sans s’arrêter. La nouvelle vague qui n’a rien à raconter, et où je m’emmerde.

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The Master
D
Paul Thomas Anderson (2012)
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams
Friday 9 August 2013 AD

No comment