Dude Rates Movies

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Jackie Brown
B
Quentin Tarantino — 1997
Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Platoon
D
Oliver Stone — 1986
Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
C
Stanley Kubrick — 1964
Peter Sellers, George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden
Sunday 13 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Rust and Bone
B
De rouille et d'os
Jacques Audiard — 2012
Marion Cotillard, Matthias Schoenaerts, Armand Verdure
Friday 11 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Django Unchained
B
Quentin Tarantino — 2012
Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio
Friday 11 October 2013 AD

No comment

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Avatar
B
James Cameron — 2009
Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver
Saturday 7 September 2013 AD

“It’s visually outstanding, but the screenplay definitely lacks depth.” People who try to appear smart by reviewing this movie like that are so annoying. They then proceed to say, even more annoyingly so, “Well, it’s mostly a plagia of Pocahontas and Dance with Wolves.” Can’t you enjoy a good classic adventure instead of trying to be a smartass?

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Inception
E
Christopher Nolan — 2010
Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

Christopher Nolan sets the action into dreams so that he has an excuse to show us whatever the fuck he wants. Fans will come up with all sorts of explanations to fix holes in the ambiguous axiomatic so that they can keep convincing themselves that it’s a form of highly intelligent art. I mildly enjoy the show from a perplexed eye.

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence
D
Artificial Intelligence: AI
Steven Spielberg — 2001
Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O'Connor
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Boogie Nights
A
Paul Thomas Anderson — 1997
Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore, Burt Reynolds
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Hook
D
Steven Spielberg — 1991
Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
B
Steve Barron — 1990
Judith Hoag, Elias Koteas, Josh Pais
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Color Purple
D
Steven Spielberg — 1985
Danny Glover, Whoopi Goldberg, Oprah Winfrey
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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1941
D
Steven Spielberg — 1979
John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Treat Williams
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Jaws
A
Steven Spielberg — 1975
Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Sugarland Express
C
Steven Spielberg — 1974
Goldie Hawn, Ben Johnson, Michael Sacks
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Breathless
D
À bout de souffle
Jean-Luc Godard — 1960
Jean-Paul Belmondo, Jean Seberg, Daniel Boulanger
Wednesday 14 August 2013 AD

Jean-Paul Belmondo incarne un macho vantard désagréable au possible, un kéké par excellence. Et ça parle et ça parle sans s’arrêter. La nouvelle vague qui n’a rien à raconter, et où je m’emmerde.

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The Master
D
Paul Thomas Anderson — 2012
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams
Friday 9 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Girl Next Door
D
Luke Greenfield — 2004
Emile Hirsch, Nicholas Downs, Elisha Cuthbert
Friday 9 August 2013 AD

No comment

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A Prophet
B
Un prophète
Jacques Audiard — 2009
Tahar Rahim, Niels Arestrup, Adel Bencherif
Monday 5 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Blood Diamond
E
Edward Zwick — 2006
Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou, Jennifer Connelly
Friday 2 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Artist
B
Michel Hazanavicius — 2011
Jean Dujardin, Bérénice Bejo, John Goodman
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

No comment

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The Dark Knight Rises
D
Christopher Nolan — 2012
Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

In this opus, the availability and reliability of Batman’s gadgets are artificially reduced so that the fact that he’s no better at fighting than any other random black belt from the streets (in this case, Bane) can be used as a form of dramatic tension. <spoiler>In the end, Bane is easily killed by a Batman’s gadget and the movie must awkwardly confronts the absurdity that it all could have been settled in 5 minutes at any other time</spoiler>

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There Will Be Blood
B
Paul Thomas Anderson — 2007
Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano, Ciarán Hinds
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Punch-Drunk Love
D
Paul Thomas Anderson — 2002
Adam Sandler, Emily Watson, Philip Seymour Hoffman
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Pearl Harbor
E
Michael Bay — 2001
Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Josh Hartnett
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

Talk about the usage of music in propaganda. Take notice of Hans Zimmer’s victorious march after Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett’s planes shoot down a few Japanese ones, followed by cheers from sailors who are in the water, that is, among some of their peers who are drowning at this very moment. That is about the ugliest, most idiotic, possible treatment of such apocalyptic war moment. This scene cuts to a scene on a Japanese ship where an officer announces to his chief that their attack is a “total success”. The dialog tells us one thing, just after the action showed us the opposite. Michael Bay apparently had no idea what the hell he was doing, apart from making sure that this thing somehow had to contain some sort of American win. The usage of the three-acts, three-hours, Titanic format, obviously couldn’t work as a platform for such retarded storytelling.

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Magnolia
A
Paul Thomas Anderson — 1999
Tom Cruise, Jason Robards, Julianne Moore
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Se7en
A
David Fincher — 1995
Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt, Kevin Spacey
Thursday 1 August 2013 AD

No comment

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Flight
A
Robert Zemeckis — 2012
Denzel Washington, Nadine Velazquez, Don Cheadle
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Sarah's Key
B
Elle s'appelait Sarah
Gilles Paquet-Brenner — 2010
Kristin Scott Thomas, Mélusine Mayance, Niels Arestrup
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Romantics Anonymous
E
Les émotifs anonymes
Jean-Pierre Améris — 2010
Benoît Poelvoorde, Isabelle Carré, Lorella Cravotta
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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One Day
F
Lone Scherfig — 2011
Anne Hathaway, Jim Sturgess, Patricia Clarkson
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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The Help
A
Tate Taylor — 2011
Emma Stone, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Looper
D
Rian Johnson — 2012
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Ip Man
C
Yip Man
Wilson Yip — 2008
Donnie Yen, Simon Yam, Siu-Wong Fan
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Twilight
F
Catherine Hardwicke — 2008
Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
B
Tim Burton — 2007
Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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The Chorus
C
Les choristes
Christophe Barratier — 2004
Gérard Jugnot, François Berléand, Jean-Baptiste Maunier
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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The Machinist
D
Brad Anderson — 2004
Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Aitana Sánchez-Gijón
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
D
Mike Newell — 2005
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Godzilla
D
Roland Emmerich — 1998
Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Batman & Robin
F
Joel Schumacher — 1997
Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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The Little Mermaid
F
Ron Clements, John Musker — 1989
Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Rene Auberjonois
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Rocky
C
John G. Avildsen — 1976
Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young
Sunday 28 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Hard Eight
D
Sydney
Paul Thomas Anderson — 1996
Philip Baker Hall, John C. Reilly, Gwyneth Paltrow
Saturday 27 July 2013 AD

No comment

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True Grit
A
Ethan Coen, Joel Coen — 2010
Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Hailee Steinfeld
Thursday 25 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Cars 2
C
John Lasseter, Brad Lewis — 2011
Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Caine
Thursday 25 July 2013 AD

WOOSH

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Lawless
A
John Hillcoat — 2012
Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf, Guy Pearce
Thursday 25 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Agora
C
Alejandro Amenábar — 2009
Rachel Weisz, Max Minghella, Oscar Isaac
Thursday 25 July 2013 AD

No comment

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Le Dîner de Cons
D
Le dîner de cons
Francis Veber — 1998
Thierry Lhermitte, Jacques Villeret, Francis Huster
Thursday 25 July 2013 AD

Mon problème avec ce film c’est la manière dont le critère déterminant des “cons” est leur passion pour un hobby surprenant (maquettes en allumettes, boomerang, etc). On pourrait dire que ce qui en fait les cibles des moqueries ce n’est pas leur passion en elle-même mais plutôt le fait qu’ils ne parlent que de ça, mais on ne pas vraiment en être sûr puisqu’ils sont invités au dîner explicitement pour en parler et qu’on ne peut donc attendre que ça d’eux. Non seulement le film se permet la convéniance de faire coincider ce genre de passionnés avec des personnalités qui sont outre-mesure assez embrassantes, mais en plus ces passions sont explicitement utilisées à diverses reprises comme outil d’humour, selon moi de manière tout à fait déplacée. La morale du film est que les vrais cons ce sont ceux de l’autre côté de la table, donc il y a tout de même un peu de recul, mais pour moi cela retire une bonne partie de la justification du film en lui-même.

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Mama
D
Andy Muschietti — 2013
Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier
Friday 31 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Y Tu Mamá También
C
Y tu mamá también
Alfonso Cuarón — 2001
Maribel Verdú, Gael García Bernal, Daniel Giménez Cacho
Friday 31 May 2013 AD

No comment

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To the Wonder
D
Terrence Malick — 2012
Ben Affleck, Olga Kurylenko, Javier Bardem
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

Ben Affleck, who plays the lead, said that this movie is to The Tree of Life what the Tree of Life is to Transformers. This also works on the scale of boredom.

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Crazy, Stupid, Love.
B
Glenn Ficarra, John Requa — 2011
Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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War Horse
A
Steven Spielberg — 2011
Jeremy Irvine, Emily Watson, David Thewlis
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Cloud Atlas
C
Tom Tykwer, Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski — 2012
Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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The Avengers
C
Joss Whedon — 2012
Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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The Town
C
Ben Affleck — 2010
Ben Affleck, Rebecca Hall, Jon Hamm
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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21
B
Robert Luketic — 2008
Jim Sturgess, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Lincoln
D
Steven Spielberg — 2012
Daniel Day-Lewis, Sally Field, David Strathairn
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
D
David Yates — 2007
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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I, Robot
B
Alex Proyas — 2004
Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, Bruce Greenwood
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
B
Michel Gondry — 2004
Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Tom Wilkinson
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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2 Fast 2 Furious
D
John Singleton — 2003
Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson, Cole Hauser
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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The Italian Job
C
F. Gary Gray — 2003
Donald Sutherland, Mark Wahlberg, Edward Norton
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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X-Men 2
C
X2
Bryan Singer — 2003
Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Hulk
C
Ang Lee — 2003
Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Signs
A
M. Night Shyamalan — 2002
Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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The Fast and the Furious
D
Rob Cohen — 2001
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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L.A. Confidential
D
Curtis Hanson — 1997
Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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The Rock
B
Michael Bay — 1996
Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage, Ed Harris
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

This Tarantino-written, Jerry Bruckheimer-produced, Michael Bay-directed action movie, is the peak of the Golden Age of 90s effective action flicks.

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Casino
C
Martin Scorsese — 1995
Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone, Joe Pesci
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Top Gun
C
Tony Scott — 1986
Tom Cruise, Tim Robbins, Kelly McGillis
Thursday 9 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Contact
B
Robert Zemeckis — 1997
Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Skerritt
Tuesday 7 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Children of Men
A+
Alfonso Cuarón — 2006
Julianne Moore, Clive Owen, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Friday 3 May 2013 AD

No comment

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Porn in the Hood
C
Les Kaïra
Franck Gastambide — 2012
Medi Sadoun, Franck Gastambide, Jib Pocthier
Monday 1 April 2013 AD

No comment

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Take Shelter
A
Jeff Nichols — 2011
Michael Shannon, Jessica Chastain, Shea Whigham
Monday 1 April 2013 AD

No comment

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Young Adult
D
Jason Reitman — 2011
Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson, Patton Oswalt
Monday 1 April 2013 AD

No comment

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Toy Story 3
A
Lee Unkrich — 2010
Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack
Monday 1 April 2013 AD

No comment

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Real Steel
C
Shawn Levy — 2011
Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly, Dakota Goyo
Saturday 9 February 2013 AD

No comment

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Zero Dark Thirty
A
Kathryn Bigelow — 2012
Jessica Chastain, Joel Edgerton, Chris Pratt
Saturday 2 February 2013 AD

No comment

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Little White Lies
C
Les petits mouchoirs
Guillaume Canet — 2010
François Cluzet, Marion Cotillard, Benoît Magimel
Saturday 26 January 2013 AD

No comment

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The Day After Tomorrow
D
Roland Emmerich — 2004
Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum
Saturday 26 January 2013 AD

No comment

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The Mask
D
Chuck Russell — 1994
Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert
Saturday 12 January 2013 AD

No comment